A Michigan cop calls 911 because he is convinced he and his wife have overdosed on marijuana brownies. They used a quarter ounce of marijuana to bake brownies. The two of them ate them all. Turns out, the wacky weed was confiscated from suspects.

“I think we’re dying,” he said. “We made brownies and I think we’re dead, I really do.”

The video is absolutely hysterical; wait for the reporters’ reaction.

Get this, the guy was never prosecuted! He was allowed to resign from the Dearborn Police Department and no further charges were pursued. Other incidents of police misconduct have since surfaced for the officer and his wife. On a separate occasion, 26-year old Stacy Sanchez (dumb cop’s wife), voluntarily told police investigators that she removed cocaine from her husband’s police cruiser that was part of the department’s drug dog training program. She then went on a reported three-week coke binge. Stacy Sanchez has not been charged criminally either.

Justice isn’t blind, it’s high.

No, not in person, on Victoria Rowell’s body! The actress donned  a cotton strapless gown that she–get this–made herself! Her 2010 Emmy Awards gown featured the presidents face along with some sort of arabic looking symbols.

Rowell’s homemade homage to Obama definitely turned heads. Isn’t that what starlets want anyway—attention?

Who knew a split in your swimwear could make you more aerodynamic? US Swimmer Ricky Berens proved just that Monday after helping the United States take the gold medal at the World Swimming Championships in Rome.

Berens’ wardrobe malfunction, caused by a pre-swim stretch, has suddenly caught the attention of the swimming world again. Michael who?

We can only hope that there will be some new, butt-baring wetsuits fashioned after this blunder!

Perez Hilton is seen here grimacing like a little girl when the fist from nowhere pounds him in the face in a Toronto night club. The internet blogger to the stars claims the fist belongs to Black-Eyed Pea Will I. Am’s manager, Polo Molina.

The whole ruckus began when Fergie, fellow bandmate, confronted Perez about the attacks launched at her on his site. Will I. Am later approached Perez with his manager about the same subject.

With a crowd surrounding Perez, Will and Will’s manager, Polo — the guys argue back and forth for about a minute, until Perez tells Will, “you’re not a f**king artist … you’re a f**king f*ggot.”

Then the fist comes. Perez says Will’s manager hit him two or three times.

Not only are the peas pissed at Perez, the GLAAD association has released a statement pounding Perez for his use of gay slurs during the altercation.

It is called Objectum Sexuality (OS), the love affair between a human and an inanimate object. They are called Objectophiles, people who are in love with an object. This is not just a simple fascination with a structure, or a love like you love your favorite sweater or a new pair of shoes. This is a full-on romantic and intimate relationship between a person and a bridge, a fence, a plane, or like the case of Erika Eiffel, the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

It sounds so silly, but there are actually people who are “in love” with objects or structures. 37-year-old professional archer and trained martial artist, Erika, “married” the Eiffel Tower in a commitment ceremony in 2007. She even legally changed her name to reflect the bond she’s made with the tower. I now present to you, Mrs. Erika Eiffel, wife of the Eiffel Tower.

The OS term was first coined by Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, a 54-year-old woman who has been “married” to the Berlin Wall for 29 years.There are 40 self-proclaimed objectum-sexuals worldwide.

I do have to agree, the Eiffel Tower would be the perfect husband…tall, dark and handsome; the silent type; and always erect.

Michelle Obama is proving to be the most un-couth first lady ever. Not only does she dare to bare her arms at congressional addresses, but she breaks royal protocol by–gasp–touching the Queen of England. During the presidential trip to the motherland, Mrs. Obama lovingly puts her arm around her majesty.

And a hush falls over the crowd.

For centuries, courtiers have warned visitors, “do not touch the Queen.” Public displays of affection are not commonplace at Buckingham Palace. Some Brits are outraged at the first lady’s seemed disrespect. It’s true, her royal highness made the first move, but Perhaps Mrs. Obama lingered a little too long, the Queen pulls away almost immediately.

Award-winning actor Joaquin Phoenix announced last October that he was ditching acting to embark on a new career….rapping. That’s right, Joaquin Phoenix claims to have a hankering for making rap music. His first concert took place in January in a Vegas night club.

Amidst rumors of a hoax, Phoenix maintains that he is actually putting himself out there, risking outright rejection, to pursue what he wants to do: “I have to be true to myself,” he said.

Conflicting comments, from a source working closely with the wannabe rapper,  say the entire thing is an elaborate Andy Kaufman-style hoax aided by his friend and brother-in-law Casey Affleck. Affleck is apparently shooting a documentary about his career transition.

“He said, ‘It’s a put-on. I’m going to pretend to have a meltdown and change careers, and Casey is going to film it,’” the source said of Joaquin.

Well Joaquin, good luck with whatever it is you’re trying to do. Rapping or hoaxing, he isn’t succeeding at either.

The model and former Bachelor contestant has decided to sue over her infamous fall in October of 2007. Sarah Welch worked a fashion show at the Mondrian Hotel in West Hollywood over a year ago and took a nasty spill into the Mondrian pool just below the stage. The hole in the runway was created by an earlier performance by Shaolin monks. During the demonstration, one of the monks did a front flip and landed a little too hard, breaking the runway.

“I had no idea that there was a hole there. It was almost like falling through ice. I was trying to get out and I remember there were pieces breaking around me and I couldn’t,” she told Inside Edition in 2007.

The lawsuit, filed in Santa Monica earlier this month, is directed toward several companies involved with the fashion show. Welch claims she suffered “great injuries to her body, shock and injuries to her nervous system” after the fall. Welch is suing for negligence and is seeking unspecified damages.

Ironically, Sarah wasn’t so devastated by the fall when it happened. When questioned about the video of her fall being viewed by millions, she told KABC-TV, “It is just a really funny mishap, I hope they’re enjoying watching it just as much as I am!”

The lawsuit is bogus. You can’t sue over a bruised ego!

Just a reminder to all you animal lovers out there: Your pets do not think any of these Halloween shenanigans are funny.  Dogs and cats are already dressed up in fur; so when you wrap them in more stuff, its really just annoying to them.  Since you are not going to listen to me and dress them up anyway, be sure to give them plenty of water before taking them trick or treating or going to a party.  Any animal “outfit” should be a little snug but NOT tight.  Bringing along some little treats may not hurt either because around nine o’ clock, man’s best friend isn’t going to care that little Jane hasn’t been to enough houses yet.  He will just want to go home, get that silly costume off, and lick himself until he falls asleep.  In a related story, here is a picture of my new iphone.

It appears we are a little late on this item as it was bigger news last week… But if you hadn’t heard…

You are looking at a picture of a giant spider that caught a full grown bird.  Before you freak out, this is somewhere in Australia so don’t run out and buy a shotgun just yet.  Apparently this bird flew into this spiders web and ended up becoming breakfast, lunch, and dinner for at least a couple days.  The spider is frickin’ huge and I am just going to end this post because it creeps me out.