Last week’s Dancing With the Stars premiere drew 24 million viewers! Idol? A measly 22 million. This season’s cast of DWTS is more controversial than ever and is surely the reason for the ratings spike. Or it could be the likes of Pamela Anderson, pussycat doll Nicole Scherzinger and Erin Andrews in scantily clad costumes?

As for trumping Fox’s American Idol, the credit may not solely belong to a banging DWTS cast, Idol seriously sucks this time! The addition of Ellen is just a distraction from the talent that isn’t that great. I will be staying tuned to DWTS, and not for Kate Gosselin…her reputation precedes her and proves to be correct (total b—- with some serious insecurities. My attention is on Derek Hough, as always!

Though James Cameron fell short of the “Best Picture” Oscar with his blockbuster film, Avatar, he raked in the dough at the box office; grossing more than 2 billion dollars in sales, the highest ever. The buzz about the film revolved around the amazing 3D (and even 4D) effects, reflecting a breakthrough in cinematic technology. But perhaps the most unusual buzz came when the language spoken by the film’s extraterrestrial beings, Na’vi, became an instant sensation, sweeping the the web.

Just 24 hours after the premiere of Avatar, the website Language Log, hosted a Q&A with the Na’vi language’s creator Paul Frommer; and the phenomenon of Na’vi took off. People became obsessed with the newly created tongue and wanted to speak it themselves. There are countless followers who claim to be fluent in Na’vi.

The creation of the language began back in 2005, four years before the film would reach theaters. Unlike other languages babbled by aliens in other films, Na’vi actually has a system. So much so that words and sentences not even spoken in the film can be formed using the system (once you figure that system out, of course). No dictionary has been written yet, but Frommer says he is thrilled to see people so enthralled with his language and he is impressed with their progress.

A lengthy statement was posted on the Language Log website by a user who figured out the system…

“Ngaru ätxäle … oel set futa Hal’liwutta tsayeyktanru ngal peng futa lì’fyati Na’viyä nume nereeiu a ngeyä wotxa lì’utìtäftxurenu sì aylì’uyä sänumeti perängey ayoel. Ayoel nereu a tsa’u ke tsayängun lu txo ayoel pänutìng futa rawketi sayi nìwotx ulte Eywafa ke txayey. Kawkrr!!”

Or, in English:

“I now ask you to tell the Hollywood bosses [Hal'liwutta tsayeyktanru] that those of us who want to learn the Na’vi language are waiting (impatiently) for your full grammar and lexicon. We promise to raise a lotta hell if what we want is not forthcoming, and ‘by Eywa’ we wont stop. Ever!!”

After a nail-biting finish to the highly anticipated vote on Health Care Reform, the Vice President of the United States forever soiled the occasion with his obscenities, caught by an extremely hot mic. After his brief comments at the signing ceremony (for perhaps the most important piece of legislation since Medicare), he turned the microphone over to the prez with the whisper heard around the world.

“This is a big f—ing deal,” Biden said as he chuckled.

You are so right Joe, this is a big deal…the most profound moment of Obama’s presidency, marred by the mouth of an idiot. Joe Biden acts like he is hanging out with his college roommates in a sports bar, instead of co-managing a country.

It seems to me, if Biden really knew what a big f—ing deal this was, he wouldn’t be so lackadaisical to use that kind of language, hot microphone or not.

The Chicago River, in Illinois, is dyed green each year in celebration of St. Patrick’s Day. The tradition dates back to 1962 when sewer workers spilled green dye into the river to check for sewer discharges. The idea to turn the river green for Saint Patrick’s Day was born. Originally, 100 pounds of vegetable dye was used to turn the river green for a whole week. That proved to be a bit much and now, only forty pounds of dye is used and the color only lasts for several hours.

Other celebrating cities include Indianapolis, Indiana, who dyes its main canal green and Savannah, Georgia dyes its downtown city fountains green.

Olympic figure skater Johnny Weir has been rejected from the “Stars on Ice” Tour because he is not family friendly, according to GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation). Radar Online reported earlier this week that Weir was not included in the only figure skating tour in the United States.  Weir spoke to Access Hollywood on Friday…

“It is for real…”I’ve never been invited to do Star on Ice before, which is the only figure skating tour in the U.S., and it’s disappointing that I can’t perform for my American fans… all because I’m not ‘family friendly’ enough.”

GLAAD had this to say on their blog: “To say that Weir is ‘not family friendly’ would be a clear jab at his perceived sexual orientation. Weir is extremely involved with his family.” The blog went on to say “Weir’s performance and costume style is sometimes considered flashier than those of other skaters, leading to questions about his perceived sexual orientation. While Weir has not officially announced his sexual orientation, he has garnered a significant amount of LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender) fans.”

Stars on Ice has responded to GLAAD and released a statement to RadarOnline.com saying “We are disappointed that there is untrue and inaccurate information being disseminated. “

It is probably my most favorite commercial on the tube these days…it’s an E-Trade advertisement featuring talking babies. It is one of a series of advertisements starring some oh-so-cute tots and it is now the center of a lawsuit, thanks to Queen Lindsay.

Lindsay Lohan is suing the financial corporation, insisting that one of the babies — who happens to be named Lindsay — was modeled after her. The baby is referred to as a milk-a-holic (hilarious). Wonder what would give her the idea that the baby was modeled after her? The ad shows a baby boy apologizing to his girlfriend via webcam for not calling the night before. The baby girl(friend) asks, “So that milk-a-holic Lindsay wasn’t over?”

She wants $100 million for her pain and suffering. Lohan’s lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, said the actress has the same single-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna. What? Are you kidding Lindsay? First of all, there are millions of Lindsays in the world. How many Oprahs or Madonnas do you know? Secondly, don’t flatter yourself, your name shouldn’t even be in the same sentence with showbiz icons.

Grow up…you are such a baby.

After spilling his guts to Playboy, John Meyer has offered Jessica Simpson an apology for his disclosures concerning their sex life, via email. What a jerk, right? Jessica opens up to Oprah about John Meyer, the “mom jeans” thing and her weight on today’s episode. She doesn’t seem to be inclined to accept the emailed apology, she didn’t hit reply.

I don’t know why she is so pissed off anyway, he was very complimentary about her abilities in the boudoir. He called her sexual napalm for god’s sake! Napalm? Who thinks of that? In the Playboy interview, John also refers to Jessica’s bedroom behavior as crack cocaine to him. Really John? The entire rant on Jessica seemed to stem from crack cocaine, but it was however, very complimentary to her. Who doesn’t wanna be sexual napalm?

This morning’s edition of ABC’s Good Morning America gave us all a better understanding of how truly twisted Heidi Montag’s thinking is. After undergoing ten procedures in ONE DAY, Montag proclaims that she is not addicted to plastic surgery, saying, “I’m not addicted. If I were addicted, I would have had 10 plastic surgeries.” Wait, so you had ten procedures, but not ten surgeries…ahhh, I get it now! Retard.

Montag says she “just wants to be as beautiful as she can be, inside and out.” And if that means DD boobs, so be it. The starlet says that her breasts still aren’t big enough.

The saga of Leno vs. Conan continues and last night, Jimmy Kimmel got in on the action. Blasting Leno on his very own show, Kimmel continuously ripped Jay Leno for his return to the 11:35 time slot on NBC.

Kimmel appeared on Jay’s show during a segment they call “10 at 10″. Kimmel was asked ten questions, most of his answers were direct shots at Jay and the surrounding controversy. But, perhaps the most scathing moment comes when Leno asked Kimmel what his favorite prank was.

“I told a guy that five years from now, I’m going to give you my show, and then I gave it to him and took it back almost instantly,” Kimmel said, drawing groans and horrified laughter from Leno’s audience. “I think he works at Fox or something now.”

At that point, Kimmel was rolling. “Ever order anything off the TV?” Leno asked.

“You mean the way NBC ordered your show off the TV?” Kimmel replied.

When asked about strippers, Kimmel said:

“I don’t like strippers because you have a phony relationship with them for money. Sort of like the way you and Conan were on ‘The Tonight Show’ together passing the torch? You know what I’m saying.”

Leno seemed to play along as Kimmel kept nailing him. It ended with Kimmel getting in one last shot.

“Listen, Jay, Conan and I have children,” he said. “All you have to take care of is cars. We have lives to lead here. You have $800 million. For God’s sake, leave our shows alone!”

A Michigan cop calls 911 because he is convinced he and his wife have overdosed on marijuana brownies. They used a quarter ounce of marijuana to bake brownies. The two of them ate them all. Turns out, the wacky weed was confiscated from suspects.

“I think we’re dying,” he said. “We made brownies and I think we’re dead, I really do.”

The video is absolutely hysterical; wait for the reporters’ reaction.

Get this, the guy was never prosecuted! He was allowed to resign from the Dearborn Police Department and no further charges were pursued. Other incidents of police misconduct have since surfaced for the officer and his wife. On a separate occasion, 26-year old Stacy Sanchez (dumb cop’s wife), voluntarily told police investigators that she removed cocaine from her husband’s police cruiser that was part of the department’s drug dog training program. She then went on a reported three-week coke binge. Stacy Sanchez has not been charged criminally either.

Justice isn’t blind, it’s high.